I’ve spent 21 years worrying about what people think of me. I’ve learned to hide it, to mask it, and to make it look like I am just a perfectly naturally pleasing person.
But that leads me to perfectionism.
It’s a horrible cycle, really. I want you to think I'm respectable, responsible, and likable— therefore I must make perfect grades, look perfect, do everything thats expected and basically just hold myself to unreachable expectations that end in a Friday night Netflix and ice cream binge because I’m so exhausted and frustrated with failing at things that were never really expected of me in the first place.
But I am learning that there is an alternative.
This year, I decided to spend time seeking out people who inspire me— choosing to surround myself with them.
Here’s the problem with that: our christian red flag goes up because we think we must love everyone. We must spend all our time being strung out by those people who want nothing more than to bring us down to their negative level with them. Now sure they are good people— they probably have a lot of potential— but its likely not showing now as they mope and complain and just live unfulfilling lives.