"For in a severe test of affliction, their abundance of joy and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part."
If that doesn't leave you just a little astounded, then you should probably read it again.
One thing I learned to accept in Honduras was that I can’t make a dent in the poverty epidemic. Not in Honduras— not anywhere. I asked myself this question on many nights as I lay in bed with so many unprocessed sights and stories I couldn't shake.
Why even try to help if it doesn't really make a difference?
But then I realized that just helping one person— although no one will ever notify the UN or award me a nobel peace prize— that is the kind of difference I want to make.
One person at a time.
One heart broken heart. One need.
I'm sitting in my bed at 2 am, and I don't feel like sleeping. I'm not anxious or worried, but rather I have a peace like I have never experienced before.
My room is a mess, I have a sick stomach, an unfinished list, and I’ve eaten little besides fried foods, tortillas and spoonfuls of peanut butter.
But I’m finding a peace that isn't dependent on those things. Its a peace that only comes from Christ and it floods over my imperfections.
There is this thing the Lord has been trying to teach me for as long as I can remember. My lack of learning this lesson usually leads me to saying my favorite phrase,
“I’m so overwhelmed…”
I am a busy person. Most mornings I wake up because there are so many things on my list and fall asleep exhausted and overwhelmed by how much is left unfinished. I figured I would get a break from all that this summer.
But I was wrong.
I’m thousands of miles away from pretty much all my responsibilities. Here I don’t have a car, a schedule of my own, or mountains of homework at night. You can imagine my shock as that phrase begin to slip into my heart and mind.
I'm overwhelmed with all the pain and poverty I see.
I'm overwhelmed because I don't have enough time to make a difference.
I'm overwhelmed when ministry doesn't move smoothly.
After I woke up this morning at 5 am to make breakfast for the girls, I came up to my room and sat like a zombie with a big cup of bitter instant coffee-- wanting only to go back to sleep.
But for some reason, I turned on a podcast from Brian Loritts. Ironically, it was about busyness. He said one thing that hit me hard.
“The bible isn't anti-busy, its anti-over work. Jesus was busy.”
Jesus was busy? Why is this just now hitting me? I've always though the opposite of overwork was sitting at home doing nothing [and that stresses me out more than a never ending list so it never really seemed like an option]. But maybe I’m just supposed to find rest amidst the busyness.