You should be refreshed, but your tired and overwhelmed and you just want to give up.
Your passions are buried so deep beneath all the expectations and reality and obligations. So the lies start to pour in, and your too tired to tell them to stop, and then you start to almost believe them.
your too slow.
you don’t know enough.
You forget that you are chosen and beloved when a standardized test grade, or acceptance letter, or job rejection tells you differently. When the list is long and the day is short and it never gets finished and you go to bed feeling more overwhelmed than when you woke up.
You want to feel better so you post something pretty on Instagram, then pull up your hair and put on the lipstick. Your all waves and smiles but inside you wish you could get control.
I wish I could write like the people in the books I read. I wish my blog posts looked better. I wish I always chose healthy food over ice cream. I wish I was a better friend, a better listener, and a better Christian.
But then someone tells me I encourage them and I realize that maybe my writing and my blog posts aren’t really the most important.
And someone says I’m beautiful and my heart is filled back up to love my roommates and my friends and the people I usually overlook.
And then I open Hebrews and am told that I’m covered in grace-- that my rest comes not by what I do.
I’m told that I am helpless and desperate and needy.
And then everything else makes more sense— why I am so tired and it all seems so hard and impossible.
"The rest God calls us into is restorative and real. The work of your hands is not what defines you. You live by HIS grace, HIS story and HIS redeeming love. This truth is all you need to claim when the voices of the Enemy drift in with“one more thing” you need to have or do to be enough." Leanne Penny on Hebrews 4.