Rest is for the lazy, the low capacity, and the underachievers.
Rest is for those who have to stop because they can’t handle the busyness.
That couldn’t possibly be me because I LOVE the busy and rest makes me antsy.
Overwhelmed in ministry
Overwhelmed in routine
Overwhelmed by stories
Overwhelmed by the world
Theme word of my life. It's usually one of the first phrases in my journal or blog posts. It often comes out of my mouth right before the Ben and Jerry’s goes in. It flows through my prayers and into my questions.
A few times I wondered if that was normal, then I just accepted it. Busy and overwhelmed— that is life in America. End of story.
Then I heard a sermon that stirred my heart, but I pushed the idea of a sacred Sabbath rest out of my head because it seemed counter cultural and impossible.
I passed a book in the bookstore by a favorite author about Sabbath a few months ago. I picked it up.
The title, Breathe.
That must be nice, I thought. But who really has time for that?
I quickly left the bookstore empty handed, but wondered why my Sunday afternoons of laying on the couch did nothing for me on Monday morning.
I ran across this quote from a guest blogger on one of my favorite blogs:
For some, brackets of time alone on a park bench to journal the sights, sounds, and smells of a wide expanse in nature is an illustration of extravagant wastefulness. Or a lavish indulgence allotted those who are retired from work life.
That made so much sense to me. I feel the most alive and rested not after crashing on the couch, eating fast food, or watching TV, but when there is quiet. I rest when I truly connect with God. I rest when the buzzing of the phone, the ticking of the clock, and the nagging of the to do list are pushed aside.
I rest when my mind wanders as it is doing now with the pecks of my fingers on this keyboard letting the words go where they want and create what they may. For me, rest is letting go of all of the expectations and plans just for a little bit.
But I am the worst person to be talking about Sabbath.
I am absolutely terrible at it and have been for a long time.
I look around at so many who gladly accept this beautiful gift from God and enjoy it in every way he intended without the guilt or obligation or questions that tower over me.
But I am learning one tiny, tiny, tiny step at a time.